The moment you announce a pregnancy, the advice begins: from parents and grandparents, friends, neighbors, strangers in the grocery store and endless voices online. Much of it comes from love. Some of it contradicts the rest. All of it can leave a new mother wondering whether she is doing anything right.
There is no single “right” way
There is no one “right” way to be a mother—only your way. You will make mistakes. We all do. But love, consistency, and presence are what truly matter. As Dr. Blanca I. Fresno writes in her book:
“Forgive yourself; you are human. Your mistakes are bridges toward transformation and growth.”From the Moment They Are Born
Listen—then decide
It’s okay to listen, but you don’t have to follow every piece of advice. You know your baby best. Dr. Fresno encourages mothers to lovingly examine what they’ve inherited—the traditions, beliefs and habits passed down in their families—and gently create new truths that reflect their own wisdom and values.
A simple filter for advice
- Is it safe? For health and safety questions—sleep, feeding, fever, car seats—your pediatrician is the right person to ask.
- Does it fit my family? What worked for someone else may not fit your baby, your home or your culture.
- Does it make me feel calmer or more anxious? Good advice usually leaves you more confident, not less.
Holding on to both cultures
For families who have moved to a new country, the questions can be even bigger: which traditions to keep, which to let go, how to navigate an unfamiliar healthcare system. Dr. Fresno knows this journey firsthand—she immigrated from Argentina in 1981—and her book was written with immigrant and Latino families in mind, in both English and Spanish.
Your voice is valid. Let it guide you.